Joke #4808

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!

A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!

Q: Whats the difference between Niagara and Viagra? A: Niagara Falls.

Q: Do you know what 69 is? A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.

Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"

What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff? A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.

Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.

A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"

Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"