A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female. "The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis." A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong. "My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
A man walks into his doctor's office and whines, "Doc, you've got to help me; I've got a strawberry stuck up my ass." The doctor pulls out his prescription pad and says, "I've got cream for that!"
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?