Joke #5528

Two doctors are having s*x, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after." She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel a f*cking thing!"

A man walks into a bar and says loudly, "Bartender, six shots!" The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow six shots, whats the occasion?" The man replies , "First bl*wjob!" The bartender then pours him a seventh shot and says, "Congrats man, this ones on me." The man then says , "Man if six shots cant get the taste out of my mouth I don't know what will!"

What is difference between woman and condom? None :-) Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !

Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.

A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery, the doc is concerned about the babys weight, "Is he bottle fed or breast fed? The woman replies, "Breast fed." The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts. He pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while ... "No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk." Woman replies, "I know, Im his granny ... but Im glad I came!"

A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"

If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.

You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit? Are you gonna eat that?

Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"