Two doctors are having s*x, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after."
She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel a f*cking thing!"
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What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end.
A toothbrush with toothpaste
A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...
Looking for man with these qualifications:
- won't beat me up
- won't run away from
- is great in bed.
She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.
The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."
So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"
Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"
A mother was arguing with her teenager and finally she reaches breaking point and blurts out, " I should swallowed you when i had the chance!"
Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are.
The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy."
The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine."
It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."
Vote:
Q: What do a gay and a garbage truck have in common?
A: Both take it in the rear.
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote:
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?
A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
Q: What did one tampon say to the other?
A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.