Joke #4835

What does a man call true love? An erection.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men

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There once was a fellow from Kent Who had such a long instrument. To stay out of trouble He folded it double. And instead of coming he went.
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has 74.84 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
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has 81.73 % from 246 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men, work
How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea. The second also asks for tea. "And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter. When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, time
Question: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
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has 75.20 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: men, women
There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men