Joke #4835

What does a man call true love? An erection.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men

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Being a man definitely has its perks... 1. Your backside is never a factor in a job interview. 2. Your orgasms are real. Always. 3. Your last name stays put. 4. The garage is all yours. 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from having an elicit affair. 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. 8. You don't give a hoot if no one notices your new haircut. 9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 10. Same work .. more pay. 11. Wrinkles-add character. 12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. 13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 17. One mood, ALL the time. 18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. 19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. 20. You can open all your own jars. 21.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. 23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. 24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me." 27. No maxi-pads. 28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. 30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. 32. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades. 33. Your belly usually hides your big hips. 34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. 35. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. 36. Christmas shopping can be done for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 15 minutes. 37. The world is your urinal.
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has 80.62 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: life, men
Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man? A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a p***s. The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
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has 84.37 % from 1275 votes. More jokes about: god, men, sex, time
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: bar, men
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
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has 75.58 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, sex, women
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, work
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, men, women