Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.
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Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
If Men Ruled the World... Laws:
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
Car rental agencies would rent tanks.
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas.
Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.
A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators.
So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge.
All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?"
Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed?
A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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