Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.
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This french guy he wants to learn English.
So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off".
Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra".
Then he goes to the hospital "baby"
So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.
Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.
An advertisement:
I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones.
Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
A man is talking to God.
"God, how long is a million years?"
God answers, "To me, it's about a minute."
"God, how much is a million dollars?"
"To me, it's a penny."
"God, may I have a penny?"
"Wait a minute."