Joke #1220

What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men

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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired." Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
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A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, women
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
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has 70.73 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: death, men, pirate, war
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: men
How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle." "OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?" "A fottle, replies the inventor." "A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?" "I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton." "And what do you call that?" asks the clerk. "A farton", replies the inventor. "That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!" "In that case," says the inventor... "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
One spelling mistake can destroy your life! A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word: "I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
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has 26.64 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, men, wife
What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO? I don't know, I've never seen either one.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men