Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
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A guy gets out of the V.D.
Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long.
Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times.
After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital.
"How's the food there?" asks the hooker.
"Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’?
About three inches.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab?
A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?
All the men stood up.
'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'
All the women stood up.
'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'
Half the women stood up.
'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'
Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.
The priest fainted.
Why is sex like a game of bridge?
You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
What do you call men who use the pull out method?
Fathers.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome.
So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
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