Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
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I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said:
"What'ya have?"
I said: "Suprise me."
He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife.
I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?"
"Everyone did" he replied..."
Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along.
‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says.
‘What time did you pull out this morning?’
‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy.
‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex?
Girl: A threesome.
Boy: What's it called when two people have sex?
Girl: A twosome.
Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.
The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?"
Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation"
The teacher stared at him and fainted.
Vote:
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?"
Woman: "No."
Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207.
Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.
The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!