One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather.
One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual.
It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house.
He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her.
"Yes. And my idiot husband went fishing!" she replied.
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I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then voice in my head says:
"Haha nice one!"
and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?
A: Gaelic breath.
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing.
But I mean, 41 years, still alive.
I kinda got it.
How many mexicans does it take to build...
Oh shit, They're done!
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you...
This is life of a dog.
Chuck can use "save" in real life.
But he doesn't need it.
Vote:
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.
Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?"
Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!"
Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.”
Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too."
Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?"
Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"