Why did the blonde go to KFC?
She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
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Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary.
So he decides to buy her a cell phone.
She is all excited - she loves her phone.
He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband.
"Hi Hon," he says.
"How do you like your new phone?"
She replies, "I just love it.
It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell.
There's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some dinner, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up.
The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt.
"Gee, that's nice.
What did you name the other one?"
What can save a dying blonde?
Hair transplants.
A brunette, a red-haired and a blonde comes to an edge of a hill. The rule is: if you lie, you fall off the hill.
A brunette says: - I think I'm the most beautiful... And she falls off the hill.
A red-haired says: - I think I'm the most clever... And she falls off the hill.
A blonde says: I think... And she falls off the hill.
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters.
She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champion.
Why did the blonde roast a chicken for three and a half days?
The instructions said ‘cook it for half an hour per pound’, and she weighed 125.