A blonde, a redhead and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know.
The brunette's word is "quizzical."
The redhead's word is "sardonic."
The blonde's word is "di*k."
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One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon.
One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!"
The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?"
They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator.
A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground.
Who picks it up?
A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!
One day three blondes were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river.
They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it.
The first blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength to cross this river."
Poof! God gave her big arms and strong legs, and she was able to swim across the river in about two hours.
Seeing this the second blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof!
God gave her a rowboat and she was able to row across the river in about three hours.
The third blond had seen how this worked out for the other two, so she also prayed to god saying, "please god, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river."
And Poof! God turned her into a man.
He looked at the map, then walked upstream and across the bridge.
What does a blonde use for protection during sex?
A bus shelter.
Q. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A. A blonde parade.
If you drop a blonde and a brunette 100ft, which hits the ground first?
The brunette.
The blonde has to ask directions on the way down.
What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back!
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
She looked down, then got run over by the train!
Why are so many blondes rushing out to get breast implants?
So they don't have to pay the flat tax.
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!".
She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please."
The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating.
A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river.
Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde.
They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?
The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year."