Why do blondes like blonde jokes? 'Cause they make them feel famous!
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? "Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go on holiday to a tropical island. The brunette takes a beach umbrella, the redhead takes a crate of suntan oil, and the blonde takes a car door. ‘What are you doing with a car door?’ asks the redhead. The blonde replies, ‘If it gets too hot, we can roll the window down.’
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a blonde.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Give her an M&M bag, and tell her to alphabetize it.
Q: How do you know a blonde's having a bad day? A: Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil...
Q. Why don't blondes eat Jello? A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited - she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband. "Hi Hon," he says. "How do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it. It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell. There's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"