Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up? A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!
Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea? A: Inflate it.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
How do blondes pierce their ears? They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?" The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?" The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant? I hope it's not mine.
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.