Joke #4954

If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
Vote:
has 81.71 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Old man: "Can you give me an erection?" Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
Vote:
has 76.45 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, death, old people
Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? A: Lefty.
Vote:
has 64.03 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dinosaur
Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, morbid, racist, sport
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
Vote:
has 59.28 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: black humor, god, religious
How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic? He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
Vote:
has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geography, health, war
Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good." To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
Vote:
has 65.19 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs. Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs. Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
Vote:
has 80.35 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: black humor
An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
Vote:
has 79.48 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
Vote:
has 81.43 % from 636 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer