If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
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What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A dead puppy!
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Two kids were talking together.
First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands."
Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?"
First: "Yes, of course."
Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."
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How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
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I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
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What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
Two more bullets.
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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
I gas the only problem I have with the wold now is all the deutchbags.
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Strong people don't put other people down.
They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
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What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool?
Throw in your laundry.
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