If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic. Alex was crying very loudly. Johnny: Why are you crying? Alex: I came here for a blood test. Johnny: So? Are you afraid? Alex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. After hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now? Johnny: I came for a urine test!
Q: What do black people smoke? A: Niggerettes.
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan? A: With a dustpan.
Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole.