If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
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What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?
The hippie girl gets stoned before have sex.
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
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It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
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I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
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An Asian walks into a McDonald's and says, "I'll Have An Eggroll and Some Fry Rye."
"I'm sorry sir we don't serve that. Would you like anything else?"
"I have quarter pounder. And when would you like to pick that up...Hiroshima!"
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Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son.
He's a martyr.
"Here's my second son.
He's a martyr too!"
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
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How did they know that the driver had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
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Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
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