Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV? A: His son running away with your VCR.
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? A: There are twenty of them.
What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.