Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV?
A: His son running away with your VCR.
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Similar jokes
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A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up.
He did the tests and waited.
After a while, the doctor came in with the results.
"Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.."
"Doctor..! How much time do I have..?"
"Ten..."
"Ten what? Months? Years? What?!"
"Nine...Eight...Seven..."
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Bill Gates goes to purgatory.
St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things.
Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".
First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches.
Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds.
Bill chooses Hell.
About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons.
Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?"
St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
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Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes?
A: Jews have 10 fingers.
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A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home.
In the den was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?”
The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.”
“What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter.
“My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
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How can you help a starving cannibal?
Give him a helping hand.
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There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American.
They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country.
The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi.
There is a lot of sushi in my country.
Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom.
There is too much love in my country.
Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco.
There is too much taco in my country.
Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says:
There are too much Mexicans in my country.
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My wife beamed at me with pride and said, "Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!"
I said, "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter."
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Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window.
If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
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The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit.
We put the tape in and started to copy the movements.
After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws.
It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake!
How we laughed!!!!
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Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac?
A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
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