Stacy: You know Tracy, sometimes I don't understand life.
Tracy: What do you mean?
Stacy: When we were a younger, we learnt to talk and to walk. At school, we always have to sit down and shut up... 
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Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school.
When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher.
Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing.
An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter is it Ms. Crunt?”
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands.
He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.
Every hand went up.
The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor."
"But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
Vote:
Jimmy: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Jimmy: good, because i didn't do my homework.
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday."
Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
Vote:
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?"
"No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."