Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.
What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
What did the blonde’s right leg say to her left leg? Nothing, they’ve never met!
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
Two blondes are sitting on a bench at the park. One says to the other,"Hey, which is farther, California or the moon?" The other blonde says,"Well, duh! Can you see California?"
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “green side up!” In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “green side up!” The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “green side up!” The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?” “I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said concentrate.
Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience. Soon, she finds herself atop the horse's back, galloping through a lush green meadow. Unsuspecting, the horse suddenly picks up speed and she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing. Once again, the magnificent animal picks up speed except this time her inexperience gets the better of her. She finds herself barely able to hang on. The startled horse is now in a dead run and the beautiful blonde finds herself hanging off to one side of the horse, her head just inches from the ground... catastrophe seconds away. She begins to frantically scream for help when all of a sudden... Frank, the Wal-Mart door man, calmly walks up and unplugs the ride.