Joke #4996

Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, stupid, time, work
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? "Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo. The manager said, "I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!"
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, death, money
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. "Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five f*cking times."
Vote: has 68.33 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, blonde
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted, without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager, runs out to unplug the horse.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, customer service, horse
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, sex
A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks frustratedly. "Duh! Big Red Truck!!"
Vote: has 80.72 % from 162 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, phone
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, men
One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, blonde, death, stupid