Yo Mama so old...
When she was at school...there was No history class!
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, she went to a family reunion looking for a boyfriend.
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One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Q: Why do Americans like black candles?
A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.
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You're so ugly, Yo' Mama had to be drunk to breastfeed you.
Yo Momma's so fat that when she sits on the beach, whales swim up to her and sing "We are family…!"
Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
A: Marco Polo.
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..."
In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code!
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss!
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
[ancient greece]
Teacher: "What have you all chosen for your thesis?"
Hippocrates: "I'm laying the ground work for centuries of modern medicine."
Socrates: "I am examining what it means to be."
Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"