Yo Mama so old... When she was at school...there was No history class!
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!
Yo Momma so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!
In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, "Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests." Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington,' and so did you." "So, everyone knows that he was the first president." "Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you." "Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that," said Johnny. "Wait, wait," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?' Mary put 'I don't know,' and you put, 'Me neither'."
Yo Mama So Black When I Shot Her, The Bullet Came Back And Asked For Flashlight.
Elderly Man: "Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic." Priest: "I do not see anything wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war." Elderly Man: "I collected rent from him for every month that he stayed." Priest: "That's not a good thing you did, but it was for a good cause. You helped him survive." Elderly Man: "Should I tell him the war is over?"
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..." In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school? A: Hissssstory.
Yo mama so ugly that she saw herself six ways in the mirror!
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.