Yo Mama so old...
When she was at school...there was No history class!
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How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code!
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss!
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxipad.
Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Elderly Man: "Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic."
Priest: "I do not see anything wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war."
Elderly Man: "I collected rent from him for every month that he stayed."
Priest: "That's not a good thing you did, but it was for a good cause. You helped him survive."
Elderly Man: "Should I tell him the war is over?"
Who's the biggest prostitute in history?
Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Yo mama so fat that her knuckles have sideburns.