Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
A: Marco Polo.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Who's the biggest prostitute in history?
Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards?
A: The captain was sitting on the deck.
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.
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J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day?
A: TWERKY!
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Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.
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Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed?
Yeah... now he has no ears.
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"
"My father said it'd be a good idea, sir."
"Oh? And what does your father do?"
"He's in the Army, sir."