Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
A: Marco Polo.
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Who's the biggest prostitute in history?
Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards?
A: The captain was sitting on the deck.
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Q: What is a parrot's favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak!
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[ancient greece]
Teacher: "What have you all chosen for your thesis?"
Hippocrates: "I'm laying the ground work for centuries of modern medicine."
Socrates: "I am examining what it means to be."
Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."
"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied.
"Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!
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Chuck Norris is the ultimate hide and seek player; no one dares find him.
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