Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
A: Marco Polo.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Who's the biggest prostitute in history?
Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards?
A: The captain was sitting on the deck.
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
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"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."
"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied.
"Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!
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Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A: Hissssstory.
Q: Why do Americans like black candles?
A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.
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There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom.
The Marine goes to leave without washing up.
The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands."
The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"