A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
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Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.
Bill Gates is judged for bigamy.
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If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet?
He kept logging on and off.
The extra RAM slots have tractor parts stored in them.
Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall?
A: Captain's log.
A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
Vote:
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp.
Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."
The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."
The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."
The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes"
Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."