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Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range.
He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away.
The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit.
They shout to him that he missed completely.
The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer.
The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off.
He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here!
The problem must be at your end!’
Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
A: Lost.
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A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son:
"Dad, what is Windows 95?"
"Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
Your mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.