Joke #4145

The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution." The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it." The programmer said "I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."

"Knock, knock.Who's there?" very long pause... "Java."

What did one computer say to the other? 010101101010101010101

Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland? A: Nerdic.

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers. Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’ God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."

A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination." The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive." The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem." Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening. She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends. The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her. It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings. So, she told her parents. They too saw him and liked him. They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage. But wanted her to make the first move. The next day, she went to him and said, Hi. I'm Jada. He said, Hi. I'm Smith. Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency. You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now. So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it. I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married. The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home's WIFI doesn't have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend.

Two programmers after work, talking in a pub: "You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar." - And what did you do ? "I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her." "Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?" "I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop." "Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"