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Algorithm.
Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
What do you call a Scottish iPhone?
An AyePhone.
I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
Programmer.
A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.
Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!