"Knock, knock.Who's there?" very long pause... "Java."
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it. Now I have two problems.
Bill Gates dies and goes to God. God says to him: Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want. God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches. So he chooses hell. After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there. Bill says: No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me? Oh that! That was just a screen saver.
How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus? Don't worry, they'll let you know.
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
Q: What is height of Craziness? A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Q:Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain? A:Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!
What did the computer do at lunchtime? Had a byte!