A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
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A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car.
She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it.
She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."
"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde.
"All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."
"Alright," replied the brunette.
In a quiet voice, she told the blonde:
"Here is the address of a friend of mine.
He owns a car repair shop around here.
Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles.
Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.
About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
"No!" replied the blonde.
"Why should I?
It only has 40,000 miles on it."
What do you see when you look into a blonde’s eyes?
The back of her head.
What did the blonde’s holiday postcard say?
‘Having a wonderful time.
Where am I?’
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"
Q: How do you electrocute a blonde?
A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
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Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
A blonde women is sitting in her garage, alone, with a gun to her head.
She is depressed and finally decides that she just can't live anymore.
Then, her husband comes home, finds her with the gun and begs her not to do it.
"Please, honey, don't do it, i'll do anything you want, but please, don't kill yourself!" he pleads.
"Shut up! your next!" the blonde says.
A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore.
The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back.
Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back.
The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.
Three blondes are stranded on an island.
A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish.
So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army.
The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off.
The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says,"Let's go over the bridge."
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