A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp.
They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie.
He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish.
The redhead went first. "I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!"
"Okay," replied the genie.
And off she went.
Then the brunette went.
"I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!"
And off she went.
The blonde started crying and said, "I wish my friends were back here!"
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Postcard from a blonde:
Having a wonderful time.
Where am I?
Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin?
A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs!
Why are so many blondes rushing out to get breast implants?
So they don't have to pay the flat tax.
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke.
A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat.
The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T.V. please.
The store clerk replies Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes.
So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black.
The next day, she went back to the same store and said I would like to buy that T.V. please.
The store clerk, once again, replies Sorry, we dont do business with blondes.
The blonde replied How did you know I was blonde?
The clerk says Because thats a microwave, not a T.V.
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.”
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all go to Hell and receive a challenge from the Devil - if they can stump him, they're free to go to heaven instead.
The philosopher goes first and asks the Devil a very hard philosophy question - to which the Devil snaps his fingers, gets a book, and gives the answer.
The mathematician tries as well - but the Devil instantly gets the answer.
When it comes to the blonde, she pulls up a chair and drills three holes in it.
She then sits down in the chair and farts.
"Now," she says, "which hole did the fart come out of?"
"That's easy," says the Devil. "All of them."
"No, stupid! It came out of my butthole!"
We went to see a movie the other night.
I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.
Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.
“Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?”
“No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”