So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’? A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.
I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust? A: The cost.
Latecomer: Am I too late for the bonfire? Host: No jump up there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."