So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
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Q: Why did hitter kill himself?
A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
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Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.
"I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks."
"But I could be dead by then!"
"No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’?
A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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A single car crash kills a Mexican family.
15 people died.
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How did they know that the driver had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
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I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped.
Saved myself a fiver.
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My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool.
I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..."
"That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
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Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her?
A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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