So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
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My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.
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Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth?
A: All of them.
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I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral.
A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said.
"It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die."
Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
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Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
- Because black people have no rights..
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What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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