Joke #5126

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? Crib death.
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Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.
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How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
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I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me. I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson
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Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
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What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
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Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!
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More jokes about: black humor, doctor, life, mother in law
At the doctors office: Doc: "Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live…" Man: "Doctor what on earth are you saying?”, clearly chocked, “Tell me what can I do to live at least a little linger, please…" Doc: "Do you eat fried food?" Man: "Yes" Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ill do it" Doc: "Do you eat fat food?" Man: "Yes" Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ok doc" Doc: "Do you stay up late?" Man: "Yes" Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ok" Doc: "Do you have sex often?" Man: "Yes! Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… I’ll do that too" Doc: "Do you smoke?" Man: "Yes" Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… I will" Doc: "Do you drink?" Man: "Yes..." Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "OK doctor, but you didn’t tell me, if I do all the things you told me, how longer will I live?" Doc: "You will still live for a week… but it will seem like a century…"
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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
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Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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