Joke #962

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
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Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
Vote: has 69.25 % from 136 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Vote: has 62.85 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
Vote: has 51.28 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
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Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Vote: has 50.69 % from 64 votes. Send joke:
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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
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More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot? A: A baby with a razor!
Vote: has 43.46 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
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What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Vote: has 39.98 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
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Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
Vote: has 34.69 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor, food