How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
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One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you.
Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you.
You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead.
Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children.
You put groceries in the other.
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While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out.
"Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
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Joke has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, customer service, death, work
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world?
A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
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Q: What does FUBU really stand for?
A: Farmers used to buy us.
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
He was caught poaching.
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Q: Why did cow cross road?
A: To find to the udder side.
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Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it?
The AIDS team.
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