How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
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KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.
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Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary."
Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
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Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces.
So too has his boot.
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This is Captain Sinclair speaking.
On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London.
We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.
If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.
If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.
If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.
That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses.
This is a recorded message.
Have a good flight!
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A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill.
He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
“This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!”
“Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?”
“Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.”
“Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
Knock-knock
Who is there?
A shattered penis with many diseases.
What kind of illness?
Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis...
Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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Joke has 63.58 % from 608 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels?
A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
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How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His hand slipped.
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Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?
He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
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