Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: With a knife.
Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
What goes: "Click-is that it? Click-is that it? Click-is that it?" A blind person with a rubix cube.
Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
Strong people don't put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.