Joke #5128

Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.
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has 43.63 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: men

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A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
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has 80.85 % from 333 votes. More jokes about: age, men, ugly
A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, "Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big." He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, "Wooww Texas mugs are really big." Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, "Strait on your right." But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, "Don't flush don't flush!"
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like guns. Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
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has 75.25 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: men
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 65.00 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
What did God say after creating man? I can do better.
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has 56.77 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: god, men
Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
3 guys walk into a bar The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? the world" The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world" The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world" The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records. The first guy comes back and says "I really do have the smallest arm in the world" The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world" The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER?
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has 81.79 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men