Joke #5128

Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.
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has 43.63 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: men

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Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: easter, life, men, money, Santa
What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely. The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it." The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"
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has 75.92 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: beauty, desert island, dog, food, men
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body? A: He is all right now.
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
A wife says, "Hey! Look at that funny guy who's been drinking a lot." The husband responds, "Who is he?" The wife answers, "Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage." "Oh my God! He's still celebrating his freedom!" says the husband.
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has 80.00 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, life, marriage, mean, men
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men, sex, stupid, women
The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
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has 83.62 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: men