Q. How do men define a long-term relationship?
A. A second date.
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A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please."
"Did you bring a container for this? "
"You're speaking to it."
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer.
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl.
I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose.
No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
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Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman.
Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
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