I’ve know John a long time and am considered a bit of a father figure to him.
I have watched him crawl around on his knees, drink from a bottle and I’ve cleaned up after him but enough about the Bachelor Party.
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Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
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Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?
Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash.
Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill.
"Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."