How can you tell if a man is lying?
You can see his lips moving.
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"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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They put one man on the moon.
Why can’t they put them all there?
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna.
Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops.
The others look at him questioningly.
"That's my pager," he says.
"I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rings.
The second man lifts his palm to his ear.
When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna.
In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear.
The others raise their eyebrows.
"I'm getting a fax," he explains.
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Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man?
A. An oxymoron.
Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators.
So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge.
All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife?
A: Let him keep her!
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.