How can you tell if a man is lying?
You can see his lips moving.
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Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl.
I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose.
No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea.
The second also asks for tea.
"And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter.
When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
They already have boyfriends.
Vote:
A wife says, "Hey! Look at that funny guy who's been drinking a lot."
The husband responds, "Who is he?"
The wife answers, "Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage."
"Oh my God! He's still celebrating his freedom!" says the husband.
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
Q: What would men do if they had breasts?
A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say
Why are all jokes about women one-liners?
So men can understand them.