What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.
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"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."
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I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
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How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
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A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.
The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart.
"Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.
Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush.
Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him:
"Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?"
Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Q: Where did OP go in the explosion?
A: Everywhere.
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Q: What was so bad about being a black Jew?
A: You had to sit in the back of the oven.
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Joke has 48.86 % from 318 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, jewish, morbid, racist