Joke #5132

What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
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I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped. Saved myself a fiver.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender? A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
Vote: has 51.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
Vote: has 53.57 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104. We called her Aunt Tique.
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote: has 52.31 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

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How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
Vote: has 73.48 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
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Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..
Vote: has 45.85 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

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Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food