Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Similar jokes
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A blonde hops on and off a curb on a busy street, saying 54 over and over.
A brunette walks by and asks what the blonde is doing.
The blonde replies that she is jumping on and off the curb saying 54 over and over.
The brunette joins her.
Soon, the brunette gets hit by a passing car.
The blonde watches as the car drives away.
The blond then continues to jump on and off the curb, saying 55 over and over.
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid?
A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
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Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world?
A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers.
Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
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A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump.
The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10.
Your parachute will automatically open.
If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord.
When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base.
Move out!"
As scared as they are, they all make it out the door.
The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing.
He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle.
He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand.
Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
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Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident?
A: Some dick cut her off.
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My dad died on 9-11.
He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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What happens if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water.
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Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.
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