Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Similar jokes
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Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first?
A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
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Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good."
To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
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A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers".
She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"
To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
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If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
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"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?"
"He was sacked for making a grave mistake."
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Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"?
A: He got crucified
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What happens if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water.
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A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption.
One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal.
The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan.
Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself.
She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son.
The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
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Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
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