Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Similar jokes
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I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said:
"Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea?
A good start.
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I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
A bittersweet victory.
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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50.
The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?"
His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive."
The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal.
"Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot.
The couple climbs in the helicopter.
The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter.
The couple never made a sound.
The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides."
The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
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Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
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Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes?
A: The execution.
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