Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Similar jokes
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What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
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Why would the cannibal only eat babies?
He was on a diet!
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What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it?
The AIDS team.
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How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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My dad died on 9-11.
He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces.
So too has his boot.
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Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ?
A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
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A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
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Cannibals capture three men.
The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes.
Then they are each given a final request.
The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible.
His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family.
This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes.
Now it is the third man's turn.
He asks for a fork.
The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork.
As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
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