Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate.
His orders were clear.
No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.
The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."
The general said, "Drive on!"
The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
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The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades.
...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
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There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American.
They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country.
The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi.
There is a lot of sushi in my country.
Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom.
There is too much love in my country.
Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco.
There is too much taco in my country.
Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says:
There are too much Mexicans in my country.
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Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ?
A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."
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Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A: He didn't have any arms.
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I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
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Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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