"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality." "Who told you that?" "Gynecologist."
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get.
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.
I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
A school in the United States is on fire. One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them. After half of an hour the upper fireman asks: Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids? Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.