"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."
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John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter.
He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
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My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104.
We called her Aunt Tique.
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Q: What do you call a flying Jew?
A: Ashes.
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Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
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These two guys are riding in a convertible down a road in the desert, the road runs alongside a railroad as they are driving, as they are driving a train goes past, on the train a guy is on the train, clutching his stomach and grunting, his buddy leans over, and asks him,
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
The guy replies, "I gotta shit real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!"
His buddy tells him "Hang your ass out the window, and let it fly."
The guy hangs his ass out the window and the shi t flies back and hits the convertible.
The guys in the convertible say "Damn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!"
The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his ass".
After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down.
His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up."
His friend says "No!"
The other guy says "Why".
His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a bitch!"
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What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't?
Ended a race.
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Q: How do you get a black out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
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When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough.
Someone started talking about fighting -- 'No, man, I've got to go home.'
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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men?
A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
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