What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
Doctor to patient: "Why are you nervous?" Patient: "Because this is the first item I am going to have An operation." Doctor: "But I am not nervous though this is going to be my first operation."
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. "I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks." "But I could be dead by then!" "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
An Asian walks into a McDonald's and says, "I'll Have An Eggroll and Some Fry Rye." "I'm sorry sir we don't serve that. Would you like anything else?" "I have quarter pounder. And when would you like to pick that up...Hiroshima!"
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?" Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons? It means the future will be great!
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.