What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A bus load of babies on fire.
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These two guys are riding in a convertible down a road in the desert, the road runs alongside a railroad as they are driving, as they are driving a train goes past, on the train a guy is on the train, clutching his stomach and grunting, his buddy leans over, and asks him,
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
The guy replies, "I gotta shit real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!"
His buddy tells him "Hang your ass out the window, and let it fly."
The guy hangs his ass out the window and the shi t flies back and hits the convertible.
The guys in the convertible say "Damn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!"
The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his ass".
After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down.
His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up."
His friend says "No!"
The other guy says "Why".
His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a bitch!"
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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.
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I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today.
I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
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What do you call a baby on a stick?
A Kebabie.
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What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue
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Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
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Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.
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How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic?
He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
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What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
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What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
Two more bullets.
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