What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Strong people don't put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot? A: A baby with a razor!
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.