What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A bus load of babies on fire.
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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What do you call of 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
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Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
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A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle.
When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish.
The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.
The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow.
The diner agrees.
The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish.
When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small.
He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".
Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers?
A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
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Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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Daughter: "That's it! I'll mary Arthur!"
Mother: "But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker!"
Father: "But you have to start with something!"
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The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades.
...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
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Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor?
A: Not cool.
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