What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
how do you keep a black person out of your backyard? Hang one in the front.
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions? Crime fighter.
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
How are babies and the elderly alike? Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. "What's up with those clocks, Peter?" "Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged." The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tells him that every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock. The guy notices one clock in the center of the ceiling with both hands whirling around at an unbelievable rate. "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies. That's George W. Bush's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."
Daddy to his son: I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.