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Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife?
A: Let him keep her!
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
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Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush.
"Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman."
"OK," says Ivan.
After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
Bigamy is having one husband too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
What does a man call true love?
An erection.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"
How are men like chocolates?
A.They never last long enough
B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.