This couple had been going out together for quite a while and was thinking about getting married.
They finally decided to spend a night in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible.
The next morning he dropped her off at her apartment and he said, "So long Lucy."
She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
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A couple celebrates their 30th anniversary by re-walking their first walk together.
They come to the fence against which they first made love.
The husband says, "Come on, for old time's sake."
The wife agrees and they both undress.
Afterwards, the husband says, "You're even better than you were 30 years ago."
His wife replies, "That fence wasn't electrified 30 years ago!"
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Vote:
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
"My wife suffers from a drinking problem."
"Oh is she an alcoholic?"
"No, I am, but she's the one who suffers."
"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him."
Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?
simple
it is just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!!
Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs.
"Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?"
"Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunk, he's not going to notice you."
Sure enough, Marge's husband crawled into bed, but as he pulled up the covers, he exposed six feet.
"Honey!" he yelled. "What the hell is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!"
"Dear, you're so drunk, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again."
The husband got out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. By damn, you're right, dear."
A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend says, “Why not?”
The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”