This couple had been going out together for quite a while and was thinking about getting married. They finally decided to spend a night in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible. The next morning he dropped her off at her apartment and he said, "So long Lucy." She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
Marriage is spending the rest of you life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you'd miss them.
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"
Marriages are made in Heaven – but then again, so are thunder and lightning.
A man returns home and find his wife with his best friend. He takes out the gun and shoots his friend to death. His wife: "Listen, if you stay in such character, you will lose all your friends."
Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.
A wife returns late at night back home. "Where have you been?" asks her husband. "With a friend. But don't worry, there were no men." One day later the husband returns back home late. "Don't worry; I was also with a friend. And there were no men either…"
Wife to husband: ‘One more word and I’m going straight back to mother!’ Husband: ‘Taxi!!’
Q: What comes with the new Divorced Barbie doll? A: All Ken's stuff.