Joke #5214

This couple had been going out together for quite a while and was thinking about getting married. They finally decided to spend a night in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible. The next morning he dropped her off at her apartment and he said, "So long Lucy." She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
Vote:
has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two guys were out fishing on the lake when a hearse and funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road. One of them stood up and held his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passed. His buddy commented, "Gee, Harry, that was really nice and respectful!" To which Harry replied, "Well, after all we were married 40 years."
Vote:
has 84.77 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From the inside they head a Pakistani accent say, "you foreigners come in. Come in my humble shop." so the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great dessert camel" Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being a sex hero he as. The husband, "how could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Pakistani man replied, why don't you see for yourself?" Well , the husband after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped then onto this feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in years-- raw sexual power. In a blink of an eye the husband rushed of too the Pakistani man threw him on the table and started tearing at the guy's pants. All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"
Vote:
has 71.40 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: gay, marriage, sex, travel, wife
A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, "Mother of Six", in spite of her objections. One night they went to a party. He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice,"Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouted back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
Vote:
has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, wife
A young lad is sitting at the table doing his homework. Dad, he says, "What is the difference between 'potentially' & 'realistically'"? Father scratches his chin, inhales sharply and says,"That's a tough one; it's probably easier to demonstrate. Go & ask your mother if she would sleep with the milkman for 1 million quid; then ask your sister the same question" ... 2 minutes later, the lad is back. "Dad, they both said for 1 million quid...? Definitely!" Well son, says the old man, "There is your answer; potentially, we are sitting on 2 million quid; realistically, we are living with a pair of slags..!
Vote:
has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, work
She has her husband eating out of the palm of her hand – it saves on the washing-up.
Vote:
has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, “It really works!”
Vote:
has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
Three guys talk in a bar. Two discuss how they are king in their castles and how much their wives respect them. The third guy remains quiet. Finally, one guy turns to the quiet guy and asks, "What about you? do you rule your roost?" The quiet guy says, "Well, just the other night, my wife came to me on her hands and knees." "What happened then?" they ask. "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"
Vote:
has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A man returns home and find his wife with his best friend. He takes out the gun and shoots his friend to death. His wife: "Listen, if you stay in such character, you will lose all your friends."
Vote:
has 53.46 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: death, friendship, marriage, wife
Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, marriage, time
I got home and found a man in bed with my wife. I said, ‘Who said you could sleep with my wife?’ He said, ‘Everybody.’
Vote:
has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage