Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."
The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
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Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!
There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue.
Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand.
The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?
A Moles Royce.
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer?
A lot of bites.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
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On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
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There is a lady laying in bed.
At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.”
His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.”
Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”