Joke #5217

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."

What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."

What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."

Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!

"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?" "Because theres to many cheetahs."

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.

Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"

Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.

Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace. She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!" The wolf keeps grimacing. She says, "My, what big eyes you have!" The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth. She says, "My, what big teeth you have!" The wolf finally snaps and says, "F**k off! I'm trying to take a dump."