A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologise to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?’ ‘I don’t know,’ replies the old lady. ‘How are you at catching mice?’
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? (A gummy bear!)
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.