An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip.
Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.
He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.
She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!"
"You can't get out of your room?", the captain asked.
"Why not?"
She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
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Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A: They've both been laid all over America.
A blonde rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does.
The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss!
She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette.
"We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde.
"I almost got caught."
There's a blonde. She enters a laughing contest.
There's 10 levels to the contest. She gets to the 9th level and bursts into laughter.
The host asks her "Why did you laugh, you could have won."
The blonde reply's, "I finally got the first joke."
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people."
Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?"
Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."
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Joke has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, friendship, insulting, relationship, stupid
Two bums are sitting talking.
The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever!
This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground.
So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever."
The second bum just laughs,
"That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks.
You know what I did?
I fucked her all day long."
The other bum interrupts, "Bull!
You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life."
The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?"
The other replies no.
"How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?"
To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"
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Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
A small company recently hired a new blonde secretary who certainly wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.
One day while she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, “What do I do now? I’m almost out of typing paper.”
“Just use the copier machine paper,” replied the other secretary.
With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank sheet of typing paper, placed it on the photocopier and proceeded to make ten blank copies.