A guy goes to a house of prostitution.
He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed.
She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings!
She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand.
He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her.
He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her.
By this time, the firemen are there.
He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?"
The fireman says, "No!"
The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for."
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Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a policehorse?
So she won't shit on the street during a parade.
A blonde has been working in a broom factory since childhood, despite the state's strict anti-child labor laws, and has always been a good worker. But one day, she storms into her boss' office.
"I quit! That's it, I'm not working here anymore!"
"Why?" asks the boss. "What's the problem?"
"I've been working here for so long that I've grown the broom bristles between my legs. I can't take it anymore."
"Listen," the boss says. "That's perfectly normal. Look, I have those too."
"Oh, my God!" she exclaims.
"It's worse than I thought! You've also grown a broom handle!"
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop.
They hide in potato sacks.
The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.
The blonde said that her mother had passed away.
The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left.
The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again.
She asked her why she was crying this time.
"I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.
Vote:
A blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm.
She remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing.
She explains the advice her father had given her.
The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank."
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
She is so blonde, when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went back home.
A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it....
Cop: "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"
Blonde: "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."
Cop: "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"
Blonde: "Oh!
Stupid me!
Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on."
At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.
Cop: "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there?
They're shaking something awful."
Blonde: "Oh... We just got off of highway 119".