Joke #5258

Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap? She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

How do you guess a blond played at you’re computer? The joystick is on the chair.

Two blond girls are discussing: "Yesterday during the blackout I got stuck in the elevator for three whole hours!" "Tell me about it! I got stuck too in the escalators."

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis." The blond yelled at the doctor... "A cute appendicitis! I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks “Why in the world are you dressed like this?“ The Cowboy says, “Well it’s like this Sheriff… I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motorhome with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt . so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants…so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts… so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town, cowboy..' and here I am.” Son of a Gun, Blond men do exist.

At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A blowjob with handlebars.

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were asked where they would like to go. The brunette said she would like to go to Mars. The redhead said she would like to go to Venus. The blonde said she would like to go to the Sun. "But you would burn up", said the brunette. "Well, I would go at night. Duh", said the blonde.

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the North side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"