Joke #995

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.

How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.

Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.

Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? A1. "What's a light bulb?" A2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: What is long and hard to a blonde? A: Fourth grade.

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said... FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

Slut - "I hate you bitch" Blonde - "Your such a slut, I bet your naked under those clothes."

How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.