Joke #5301

A lot of things have changed in my life since I got to know that my girlfriend got pregnant. My name, living address, phone number...
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A man was reading the newspaper during breakfast and said to his wife, "Look at this. Another beautiful actress is going to marry a baseball player who's a total dope! I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the hottest wives." His wife said, 'Thank you.'
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Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore: marriage is an institution for the blind.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released tonight."
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, prison, wife
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship, Valentines day
Marriages are made in Heaven – but then again, so are thunder and lightning.
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Man is incomplete until he’s married. Then he’s finished.
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has 85.58 % from 368 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage
Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?" "I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny." "That's not going to work." "Why not?" "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
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has 83.04 % from 621 votes. More jokes about: dad, fat, marriage
A wife goes on a retreat for work. When she returns, she finds a pair of panties in her dresser that do not belong to her. Furious, she questions her husband. The husband says, "I have no idea where they came from I don't do the laundry!" So, the wife goes to the maid and questions her. Indignant, the maid replies, "Madam, how should I know? These panties don't belong to me. I don't even wear panties just ask your husband!"
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has 85.19 % from 358 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, work
Contrary to popular belief, Harry’s mother and father were married. Not to each other. But they were married.
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage