Joke #5309

Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.

A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry. Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest dick."

What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...

The main rule to obey, if you are in jail: never take a bow for a fallen soap from the wash basin. Try and you'll cry.

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

I haven’t been the same since my testicles dropped. Mind you, I was hanging from a tree by them at the time.

My wife is so kinky, when she was born, the doctor slapped her bottom to make her cry, and she said "Don't forget to pull my hair" I accidentally swallowed some WhiteOut last night. Woke up with a massive correction.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.

The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."

My wife and I really love bondage. She loves it because she's a kinky bitch. I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.