An old man asks a blond: If a guy would try to rape you, will you scream for help? If he can’t manage me by himself off course!
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. "I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts... she gave me change!
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it's mine.
What's a difference between a blond and a mosquito? once you smack a mosquito it stops sucking
Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? Because she was trying to make up her mind.
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave.
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?” The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”