Joke #5338

Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
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NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?" The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink." Then NASA Control asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?" The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink." Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?" The blonde woman replies, "Ummmmmmm...Oh yeah, I remember now.Feed the pigs and DON'T TOUCH A GODDAMNED THING!"
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Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First.
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Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours? A: Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides.
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A blonde and a both jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one will hit the bottom first? The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.
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Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? Because she was trying to make up her mind.
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Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!
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A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt. She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt. The doctor told her to demonstrate. She touched her nose and it hurt. She touched her stomach and it hurt. The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes. "Look Here Lady, your finger is broken!"
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Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea? A: Inflate it.
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Why are blondes only allowed a thirty-minute lunch break? If they took an hour it would take too long to retrain them.
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Q: Why did the blonde climb on to the roof? A: Someone told her the drinks were on the house.
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