A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them. The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blonde falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, the blonde collapses, dead on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."
A blonde comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts. ‘How can I get to the other side?’ The other blonde looks around then shouts back, ‘You are on the other side!’
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
Q: Why do blondes smile when there's lightning? A: Because they think they're getting their picture taken!
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? Donut Seeds.
Q: How does a blonde part her hair? A: By doing the splits.
Why did the blonde go to KFC? She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
Q. Why don't blondes eat Jello? A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."