Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea? A: Inflate it.
NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?" The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink." Then NASA Control asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?" The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink." Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?" The blonde woman replies, "Ummmmmmm...Oh yeah, I remember now.Feed the pigs and DON'T TOUCH A GODDAMNED THING!"
How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek? One.
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
A blonde calls her mom... Blonde: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!" Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?" Blonde: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Q: What is long and hard to a blonde? A: Fourth grade.
A blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes. Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing. She explains the advice her father had given her. The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank."
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.
Slut - "I hate you bitch" Blonde - "Your such a slut, I bet your naked under those clothes."
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store. The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second. When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"
How do you change a blonde’s mind? Blow in her ear.