Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade four.
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Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy.
The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?”
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.”
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.”
“OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.”
“There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts... she gave me change!
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
She sticks it in the microwave.
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, who were all stranded on an island.
One day they found a genie and he said he would grant them three wishes.
All three of them agreed that each of them would get one wish each.
The brunette said, "I wish I was home in my bed and that this never happened."
and poof, her wish was granted.
The redhead said, "I wish that I was at home in my bed and this never happened."
and poof, her wish was granted.
Then the blond said, "I wish my friends were here with me."
A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys.
What is wrong with this joke?
1. This isn't a joke
2. The blonde is thinking
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card.
She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual.
The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.”
The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
A Blonde was at a gumball machine.
She put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out.
The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball.
She said, "Shut up! I'm WINNING!"
Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!"
The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".