A blonde was so proud of herself because she finished a jigsaw in 6 months and the cover said 2-4 years!
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
Why are blondes only allowed a thirty-minute lunch break? If they took an hour it would take too long to retrain them.
Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because pets can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did God create brunettes? A: Because the blondes couldn't either.
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
There's a blonde. She enters a laughing contest. There's 10 levels to the contest. She gets to the 9th level and bursts into laughter. The host asks her "Why did you laugh, you could have won." The blonde reply's, "I finally got the first joke."
Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first? Boy2: The blonde? Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how.
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?" The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?" The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."