Joke #5351

A blonde was so proud of herself because she finished a jigsaw in 6 months and the cover said 2-4 years!
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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Two blondes drive through the middle of Kansas, surrounded entirely by wheat fields. One blonde says, "Look over there!" They see another blonde in scuba gear acting like she's swimming through the wheat. The blonde driving says, "It's girls like that who give us blondes a bad name." The other blonde says, "Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and tell her off."
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink A: A cocktail.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, blonde, dirty
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
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has 79.23 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?" The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink." Then NASA Control asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?" The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink." Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?" The blonde woman replies, "Ummmmmmm...Oh yeah, I remember now.Feed the pigs and DON'T TOUCH A GODDAMNED THING!"
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has 72.34 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know,it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this, the other blonde replies, "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
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has 70.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells off the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter. "I'm here for the paint job," she said. "Alright," said the man. "Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house." The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coat. After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a Porsche out back. It's a new BMW.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What did the blonde’s holiday postcard say? ‘Having a wonderful time. Where am I?’
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
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has 85.34 % from 940 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?
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has 24.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, stupid, winter
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning? Tell her a joke on Friday night.
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has 73.94 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: blonde