Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some.
Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says,
"Whatcha doin' Daddy?"
Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his d*ck and starts looking at the floor.
"Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says.
Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, f*ck it?"
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A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?"
And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
Knock-Knock
Who is there?
A long penis with a naked head.
Come in please we were waiting for you.
Vote:
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name?
A: Papa Boner
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine.
He will be my squishy."
"Let go of my boob."
Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face?
A: When her mustache is on fire.
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers.
They searched them and took the guys wallet, his watch and the motorbike but couldn’t find any jewelry from the girl.When the muggers had gone, the guy asked his daughter; “Did they take your new diamond ring as well dear?”
“No Papa,” replied the girl with a grin, “I managed to hide it when they were searching you.”
“Hide it? where?” asked the guy,” I saw them search you too.”
“I slipped it into my… a… my . . .um…. pee pee place.
”said the girl shyly.
“Damn!” swore the guy,
“If only your mother were here, we could have saved my motor bike!”
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common?
They both get harder the longer you play with them.
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse.
Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation.
"I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"