Joke #5357

Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, "Whatcha doin' Daddy?" Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his d*ck and starts looking at the floor. "Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says. Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, f*ck it?"
Vote:
has 81.30 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper." Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."
Vote:
has 80.63 % from 295 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women, work
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Vote:
has 40.37 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, internet, sex
Q: Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino? A: One cup and you're up all night.
Vote:
has 76.44 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: dirty, viagra
Two blokes sitting in a bar, 1 says, "After 10 years of marriage, s*x is down to three times a year." The other replies, "Same here pal, as a matter of fact if my wife didn't sleep with her mouth open I'd have none at all."
Vote:
has 75.48 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate? A: Fuck if I know
Vote:
has 29.62 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
Vote:
has 73.23 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
Vote:
has 53.88 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
Vote:
has 52.05 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home. Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming. The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on her wedding night.” She snuck by her second oldest daughter’s room and heard her laughing. “That’s normal too,” she said, smiling to herself. Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter’s room where she didn’t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it. The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night’s noises. “Well Mom,” she replied, “you always said if it hurt I should scream.” “You’re absolutely right sweetheart, ”the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter. “Now why were you laughing?” she asked. “You always said if it tickled, I could laugh,” she answered. “True enough, honey.” The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days. “Now it’s your turn, baby,” she said turning to her youngest daughter. “Why was it so quiet in your room last night?” “Mom, don’t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.”
Vote:
has 84.12 % from 2245 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, marriage, sex, wedding
My wife wanted me to whisper dirty things to her. "...........dishes."
Vote:
has 62.62 % from 256 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife